


Sleeping With A Friend

by nearlyskeletons



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Members of Fall Out Boy, Members of Panic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 03:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3274769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nearlyskeletons/pseuds/nearlyskeletons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler Robert Joseph was an angel sent from heaven in Josh’s eyes.  He was the light of his life, the wind beneath his wings. The man he loved. But the feelings weren’t mutual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeping With A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> prompt was: could u write a thing where they're friends with benefits but like the lines r all blurred and no one knows if they're dating and then they play never have i ever and one says 'never have i ever made love' and the other gets all hurt. 
> 
> sorry that i kind of made tyler an asshole oops that was unintentional
> 
> title (obviously) from sleeping with a friend by neon trees

“So…are you guys like, dating?” Patrick asks, confused. Josh sighs, a sad look misting his eyes. Patrick, seeing his reaction, immediately straightens in his chair and says, “I’m sorry, that was out of line. We don’t have to talk about it—“

“No.” Josh interrupts flatly.

“No what?” Patrick asks slowly, cautiously.

“No, we’re not dating.” Josh clarifies.

“Oh. Okay.  Um…sorry again for bringing it up.”

“It’s fine, really.” Josh gives him a weak smile before standing up from his spot on the couch and leaving the tour bus without another word.

 It was a cold day.  The air was frigid and cut bare skin like a knife. Josh didn’t really care, though. The freezing air could take his mind off reality, even if only for a second.  He tried to focus on the wind stabbing at his ankles, at the back of his neck. 

He especially felt it right above his collarbone. Where the bruises were. He shivered harder thinking about it, trying to hold back tears.  The bruises weren’t the problem.  The problem was who put them there.

Tyler Robert Joseph was an angel sent from heaven in Josh’s eyes.  He was the light of his life, the wind beneath his wings.  The man he loved.

But the feelings weren’t mutual. Tyler wasn’t looking for a relationship. He was looking for pleasure. And he knew Josh could give him that pleasure.  With Josh’s overwhelming feelings, Josh could hardly say no to being with him, even if it was simply meaningless sex in Tyler’s eyes.

Which made everything hurt eons worse.

 Josh pulls his hood over his head and rubs his eyes. He’s so tired. Tired of life. But he perseveres, fueled by the hope that maybe, _maybe_ one day Tyler will reciprocate his feelings.

He hears a door shut faintly, not knowing which tour bus it came from.  Moments, later, though, he sees Tyler bounding toward him out of the corner of his eye. Of course he would show up in the middle of Josh’s crisis.  He always does.

“Hey, Josh!” Tyler shouts. He frowns. “What are you doing out here? It’s so cold!”

Josh shrugs.  “I like the cold.”

Tyler frowns a little, eyeing Josh. “Are you okay?”

It takes all of Josh’s strength to push his crisis aside in his mind and force a fake smile to Tyler.  “Of course. Why?”

Tyler, seemingly convinced that Josh _was_ in fact fine, smiled slyly. “Because…” All in one motion, he sweeps up in front of Josh and pushes him against the side of the tour bus.  He leans up to Josh’s ear, and his voice dances with the howling wind. “I want you.”

 

* * *

 

“Your stamina never ceases to amaze me.” Tyler compliments with a raspy voice, still panting.

Josh doesn’t respond. He instead climbs off of Tyler and gently lies down beside him, also panting.

“You never cease to amaze me.” Josh mumbles almost inaudibly. But Tyler hears him.

He laughs. “Thanks, man.”

Josh closes his eyes.  He thinks to himself, _Tyler, you always look at me so deeply.  You look, but you don’t see.  How can you be so blind?_

* * *

“Brendon, truth or dare?” Pete challenges.

“Truth.”

“Have you ever made out with Dallon?”

Dallon lets out a loud laugh and Brendon smiles widely. “Uh, only every day.  Look at this handsome bastard.” He climbs on Dallon’s lap. “How could I resist tapping this fine piece of ass. Isn’t that right, _daddy?_ ” Brendon fake growls.

Dallon laughs again and shoves Brendon off. “Yeah, in your dreams, princess.”

Josh is glad the Panic! guys decided to throw a party. He was really starting to need something to take his mind off the whole Tyler situation. 

Tyler giggling drunkenly, _cutely_ , next to him wasn’t particularly helping, though.

Josh watches them all fool around helplessly. Although he hates party games like truth or dare, he loves watching his friends miserably give up their biggest secrets or have to do something grotesque like drink toilet water.

Josh thinks he may be a sadist.

The tables turn, however. They always do. And now Brendon is staring right through Josh, asking, “Truth or dare?”

“Uh..truth.” Josh answers slowly.

“Are you and Tyler dating?” Brendon shoots back without missing a beat.

It takes Josh aback.  He hesitates a second, not daring to look over at Tyler.

“Uh. No. We’re not.” He whispers.

“Oh. Okay. I was just curious.” Brendon says almost delightfully, as if he didn’t notice Josh’s timidness. “Who’s next?”

Josh glances over at Tyler, who seems completely unfazed.

“Hey,” Joe chimes in, “can we play somethin else? I’m gettin bored ova here!” Joe slurs drunkenly.  The rest of the guys agree.

“We should play Never Have I Ever!” Tyler exclaims suddenly.

And with that they’re sucked into another game.

 

* * *

 

 

They’re into their third round of Never Have I Ever and everyone is starting to run out of questions.

“Never have I ever jacked off to the Spice Girls.” Spencer tries.

“Damn.” Patrick whispers, cheeks turning bright red as he puts a finger down.

Everyone laughs wildly.

“Okay, okay, I have a good one!” Dallon proclaims. “Never have I ever made love.”

“Dude, Pete already said that one.” Andy informs.

“No, no.  I mean like _made love_. As in, had sex with someone you really loved. Someone you truly cared about.” Dallon explains.

Josh stares at Dallon.  This all suddenly got very deep.  He looks around the circle.  Spencer puts his finger down, Brendon puts his finger down. Pete and Patrick put their fingers down followed by Pete giving Patrick a brief peck on the cheek.

All Josh can think is _I love Tyler. I love Tyler. I love Tyler._

And he puts his finger down.

With a deep breath, he looks at Tyler out of the corner of his eye.    
He hadn’t put a finger down.

Josh’s heart sinks.  Literally, sinks.  It falls out of his chest, drags through the bus’s floor and into the cold, deep earth where it’s swallowed up. 

And Josh can’t breathe.

He realizes that this shouldn’t be a big deal. It shouldn’t. But it is.

He’s not completely conscious as he stands up saying, “I’m gonna call it a night.”

He’s not conscious as he walks back to his tour bus.

He’s not conscious as he walks straight into the bathroom and throws up.

 

* * *

 

It’s 3 AM when Tyler stumbles onto the bus. The rest of the crew is still out for the night, meaning the two of them are alone.

Josh is sitting on the couch staring at the TV. But it’s not on. And neither is his brain.

Tyler smiles when he sees him. “Joooshua!” He drawls. “You left so early!”

Josh doesn’t respond.

Tyler walks up to the couch and plops down next to him.

“Josh.” He whispers in his ear.

Josh is silent.

All of a sudden, in one swift movement, Tyler is straddling Josh’s hips. “Josh.” He repeats, louder this time. _“I want you.”_

And then Josh responds.

“No.”

Tyler blinks, surprised. “What?”

“I said, _NO_ , Tyler. Get the hell off me.” Josh practically screams. His mind is racing. He shoves Tyler off his lap.

Tyler stumbles backward a few steps, sobering up slightly due to Josh’s seriousness.

“You don’t want to have sex?”

Josh laughs, brimming with hurt and angst and so many emotions he can hardly stand up.  “No, I don’t want to have sex, Tyler. In fact, I’m never having sex with you again.”

“Josh, what’s wrong? What did I do?” Tyler asks anxiously.

“What’s wrong is that _I’m in love with you, Tyler Joseph!_ I’m fucking in love with you!” It all rushes out of Josh so fast. Everything he always wanted to say.  Everything that haunted him.  Out in the open. “And all I am to you is trash—”

“That’s not true!—”

“It is true! You always treat me like shit, Tyler! I can’t take this anymore!” Josh screams.  He’s crying now.

And to his surprise, so is Tyler. “Josh, no.  I love you, too.  Please believe me.  It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this! I love you.” He rambles, words muffled by crying.

Josh just stares at him blankly. “You don’t love me.”

“I do, damn it! I do!” Tyler pleads.

“You’ve been so horrible to me.” Josh says quietly.

Tyler continues sobbing. “I know I have. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to talk to you. I didn’t—I don’t—I’m sorry.  I thought sex would make us closer.  I thought—”

“Well you thought wrong.  You hurt me Tyler.”

“Please let me fix this.” Tyler whispers, choking on his tears.

Josh looks at him. “Tyler, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to love me.  But here you are, proclaiming your love, and I don’t believe you. Can you make me believe you?”

Tyler nods slowly.  “I’ll show you I love you, Josh.  I’ll show you.  Give me time, please. I’m just so screwed up. I’m sorry.”

Josh doesn’t respond.  He turns and walks toward his bunk, climbing in still fully clothed.

 

As he drifts off to sleep that night, he can still hear the sniffling and whispered curses of Tyler.

 

And he hopes Tyler really does love him.

 

But he needs time to heal.

 


End file.
